Humor Me
by R-VIXX
Summary: Yeah, this sucks. Don't bother reading it. I will probably delete it once I log onto my computer.
1. Info

May, Drew, Gary and the others are practically feeding each other insults. It can only get even better from there. Warning! Sexual content, and harsh insults. Read if you enjoy humor!

In these short stories, everyone is older. So, imagine theme as adults. Around the age of 20-23 perhaps?

Remember, these _are _adult conversations. Meaning things can get explicit.

**Disclaimer: I don't know Pokèmon, but I should.**

Happy reading!


	2. Two-Faced

May trotted down the halls in quick strides. She was fuming with anger; steam practically shooting from her ears.

Throwing open the door without a single thought, May stepped into the room.

"You," she jabbed a finger in his direction, walking slowly towards him with a threatening aura. "You have a lot to explain."

May hissed the words with complete venom, watching as Gary's face went white. He started sputtering words, trying to piece together what she was going on about.

"Tell me Gary," she spat. "Am I a horse, or a 'sweet slut?'"

He stared at her with curiosity. When the words finally reached his ears, he immediately started shaking his hands furiously.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no!" He mumbled, backing up.

May remained in her spot, and the hands that rested on her hips fell to her side and clenched into fists. "Because, apparently, I'm one or the other. According to Drew and Ethan."

Gary started to break out in a nervous sweat, "W-Well, it's a long story, you see–"

"Cut the crap, Oak!"

He glanced at her, watching as her face transformed from pure devil to a soft complexion. He lowered his hands, surprised at her sudden change of attitude.

"Do you mind telling me why you're spreading stuff like that?"

"Eheh, entertainment?"

"Rumors aren't good for health, if you know what's best for you, Gary."

He swallowed the lump of spit in his throat; and brought up a finger to try and stretch out the collar around his neck, it felt like a snake was trying to suffocate him. Or, maybe the toxic air that May brought with her was just too much.

"I said a silly thing here and there, no harm right?"

May stood with a blank expression, obviously not entertained at his attempts of escaping the conversation.

He snapped, "Oh, c'mon May! So, I said a rude thing or two! I told Drew you were as graceful as a horse in a China shop, and told Ethan you were a slut back in the day—I could have said worse!"

Gary knew the words coming out of his mouth could result in death, but once he started talking he couldn't stop.

She gave a worried expression, "That's unhealthy to spread rumors like that. Karma will come back and kick your ass, you know?"

He was utterly surprised.

He swore his mouth dropped to the floor. The girl that stood before him was the Queen of Anger, and mischief, and yet—she stood before him as calm as a pond a warm summer day.

May was angry, who wouldn't be? But, she had better ideas in mind rather than just yell at the stupid porcupine. What he did was completely two faced.

She slowly walked forward, pursing her lips, "I don't appreciate what you said. However, just because I'm not going to yell at you—doesn't mean I'm going to leave you unpunished."

Gary opened his mouth to speak, but the words never flowed from his tongue. She edged closer, bringing up a hand to rest on his shoulder.

"You know, I can be as delicate as I wish."

She brought her other hand up to his face, lightly stroking his cheek with her thumb.

"I'm not a slut either," she hissed lightly. "But I know how to make a man go weak in the knees…"

In one quick motion she her face went past his, her lips tracing across his cheek; before coming to a stop at his ear.

Gary swore he could feel the smile that tugged at her lips. His breathe was caught in his throat, the burning sensation on his cheek was killing him. He still couldn't form any words, as this side of May was something he had never seen before.

_ Oh, how he would soon regret it._

May opened her mouth slightly, teasing him as she blew a small amount of air into his ear. Her lips twitched into a grin.

"If you're gonna be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty."

And when he opened his eyes; May was gone. Leaving him to wonder what the hell had just happened.

_May: 1_

_Gary: 0_

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**Author: **Well, this is what I write at 11 P.M. Interesting, no? Sorry if there are mistakes, I uploaded this from my iPhone. Hope you liked it!


	3. Keep On Rolling

"Stop that."

May raised an eyebrow, "Stop what?"

"The humming, it's annoying." He replied blunty.

She rolled her eyes, continuing to mix the bowl that was filled with cake mix. She could already imagine the sweet, intoxicating smell of fresh cake.

After a few minutes of what she thought was a comfortable silence, Drew spoke up.

"Alright, what are you up too?"

She rested the spoon against the bowl, and turned to Drew with a confused expression. "Pardon?"

"You're too quiet. I don't like it."

She huffed, turning back around to pour the cake mix into a pan. "You're the one who told me to stop humming."

He pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation, "I'm not used to you being quiet, so, be your annoying self or whatever."

"Drew, that's ridiculous."

He glanced up at her, waiting for her to continue, knowing she was about to go into one of her classic rants.

"Part of you wants me to just 'be my usual obnoxious self' and the other half tells you I should be quiet."

He glared daggers at her, "You can be annoying as hell."

"Really? Because that's not what you were saying earlier."

"What?"

"You said some things while you were sleeping on the couch."

She smiled, obviously happy she was making him aggravated.

"What did I say?" He pushed for more information.

"I'm sorry, but I shouldn't be talking. It annoys you too much."

Drew wanted to growl and rip that sickly sweet smile off May's face. As he planned out her death, May turned back around to continue cooking.

Before he could retort, May's quick motion caught him off guard. She placed the cake in the oven, closed the oven door with a bang, and shuffled over to Drew with a blank expression.

She continued to stare at him silently. Drew's rage was building up. He rolled his eyes as her, wishing she would just stop. A slight smirk appeared on her face at he sign of his displeasure.

"Keep rolling your eyes," May said in complete seriousness. "Who knows, maybe you'll find a brain back there."

And as she walked off, Drew slammed his head against the counter.

_Drew: 0_

_May: 1_

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**Author: **Yup, this one sucked. I imagined these stories shorter, and more to the point. So, I may end up re-writing them... Anyway, I hope you liked them! If you have a plot idea, message me! Thanks for reading. ^.^


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